Your sweating and tossing and turning in your sleep. Pulling the blankets off me, it is freezing in our house. I don’t know what dream is causing you such agony. I grab the blanket to place it back over me, you pop up with this blank stare in your face. “I have to tell you something”, you say. My heart drops and I swallow what’s left of the saliva in my dry throat. “What is it?” I said. She says, “I killed someone in my past”….I look at her and said “Okay, I thought you were going to say you were in Love with another man”….
Love became our stomping ground. We fought like we never met and made up like we would never be apart. The smile on her face drew a picture perfect smile on mine. My eyes lit up whenever she entered any room. She blushed, when I grazed her cheek with mine. I whispered, my heart in her ear, every time it made sense of an emotion. But, we would forget all of those moment once our communication became miscommunication. Words would be said that couldn’t be rewound nor allow us to move forward. We would be stuck in an endless circle that would spin uncontrollably. Silence meant disconnect, talking meant yelling, and walking away meant the end. The recovery time for the wounds, consisted of lying in bed contemplating turning our backs, and walking away. Yet, the next day comes, and we stay. Eyes to eyes again, cheek on cheek once more, whispering forever in one another’s ears. And we start again….
We drifted apart. The arguments started to escalate to days of silence, passing one another in a home we built together. We slept back to back for months never once reaching across the invisible line we drew in the bed. It has become so normal to close our eyes and wake up to this as our reality and realistically it’s over. Yet, not one of us wants to say the words. We must both believe we have something left. We must both want to see this through, but the ghostly behavior continues. We have drifted, we have taken for granted the strength of communication. We stopped fighting, so I will say it, “It’s Over”! My bags will be packed at weekends end. Come Sunday night we will be a You and I and Monday will start the moving on process….