​The announcement I have been waiting for came through a phone call, in the middle of a conversation well off topic. She told me, “We are going to be parents”. I smiled because the news was great and because I told her she was pregnant. I was right and it was right. I said, “Congratulations”! She said “Congratulations to you”, thrown off by me congratulating her for something we both wanted. But, she should know her personnel. I was gloating, because she finally caught up to what I have predicted. She said, “See you when you get home”. I said, ” Yes, Yes, see you soon”. I got off the phone smiling and shared the news with my friend. She smiled and said “that’s great” but fought back tears of disappointment. She wanted me to enjoy the moment but her feelings for me couldn’t be hidden. I mean, I was having a baby with my best friend which can easily turn into a marriage. So, she thinks. She could be right, but right now I am single and choosing to have a baby with someone I know would be a Great Mother, and help me raise a great child to adulthood. My single status will go where my heart takes it. I asked her to express her true feelings, she refused because she felt bad that she felt something as great has having a child would hurt our closeness. I told her, ” That’s a normal feeling, the mixed emotions of support and the fear of being placed in a bystander role.” I added, ” I Love you and want you to be a part of every great moment but it’s always okay to be raw about your feelings, that’s why it is a relationship.” She looked at me with tears running down her cheeks and said “I am a horrible person because I don’t want to make this great moment about me”. I replied, “This moment is about us, good or bad.” She walked out the door. Refusing to listen to my heart and understanding. Everything she didn’t want to do she did by not taking the time to express herself. I left with the great news of parenthood and the sadness of someone I Love’s pain. It was bittersweet….

~AzizBrown~

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