We sit on a park bench discussion a world that sits between us. We speak of the past and the pain that prevents vulnerabilty in the present. Your eyes wander as we talk of you once surrendering to another, just to have your heart crushed. You go on to say “that you want to believe, as I believe, that lessons learned from pain will bring future pleasure”. Yet, your head drops because you can’t let go. I speak of my refusal to allow you to punish me for crimes committed by another. I tell you that I will not continue to see the victim in you while you make a victim of me. We sit in silence, struggling with the disconnection of past pain and future joy. I look to the sky knowing God has brought you into my life, but why with so much uncertainty? I fix my chin, look into your eyes knowing i am not yet ready to let go. You stare at me confused at why I still inch closer. That answer is also unclear to me but I know that my heart tell me you are worth the fight so I continue to inch closer….