I washed my hand of the madness between us, but you followed me into the next room. I am suppose to hold my anger, yet I asked for space, and you keep coming closer. The baby is in the next room crying, the other children are so used to our dysfunction they continue to watch television. They are laughing in the background as your voice increases with rage because I refuse to respond. I want to keep my family whole. How is that possible when together we are so unhealthy? I talked to my family and friends, it is some normal in their lives they tell me to thug it out. Your in my ear and I am ready to boil. I reach for the door to leave. You grab my hand, yelling at the top of your lungs, “You can’t walk out on me, you ruined my body with these children”. I turn with the devil in my eyes, “get off me”. You just grab me with your other hand, saying “I am not scare of you”. Pushing my buttons, testing my resolve. I have never hit you before but I am close. Teeth are clitching, jaw is protruding, and the vein in my forehead is ready to explore. The moment continue to weaken me. You are shaking me, my hand is forming a fist, and arm is cocking back. One of the children come out. “Mommy, Daddy, I am hungry. God used my lil girl to remind me of the man I am. I walk into the kitchen and start making the children something to eat. Continuing to live this life, hiding behind staying for the children, not seeing that staying is hurting my children.

2 thoughts on “The Pain of Disfunction….

  1. You actually make it seem so easy with your presentation but I find this topic to be actually something which I believe I’d never understand. It kind of feels too complex and very broad for me. I’m looking ahead to your next publish, I will try to get the grasp of it!

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    1. Progress is easy when you want to put in the daily work necessary to build a healthy relationship. Someone that Love’s you should never have you around and not think the best of you. Yes, there will be low moments, moments of anger but we must have a foundation that doesnt allow us to cross the line. Love is a faith. It take all we have to do whats best for a whole family not just ourselves.

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