Today, I woke from the dead and mourning has ended. Looking at my body lifeless on the bed. I am ready to start again. Giving the spirit to move forward, I am thankful to have a second chance. Leaving behind the pain and seeing that joy is my purpose. Staring in the eyes of the people I Love, I am present. Alive in the facts that I am Loved. Passion leads me through a heartbeat being used to strengthen others. I have survived. So, I smile and find matching smiles….
The rain came before the sun. The umbrella, I placed over my head didn’t prevent me from being drenched. The storm was a message, we really wanted to spend the rest of our lives together. We fought until we spoke the same language. We shared until it became natural. We hugged and kissed until we were pros. We ask hard questions expecting honest answers. We searched for where we related together. We never pretend we didn’t disagree, we expressed it. Sometimes we had to retreat to our corners, other times we stood in the middle of the ring and traded punches. I thought, I was protected by the umbrella over my head but I was drenched. She came from out of nowhere; clear skies, one gray cloud, then the whole world went black. My heart pumped, frustration became a normal emotion, but the greatest Love was somehow being built. She didn’t want my compassion, she wanted my truth. She didn’t shy away from my mind, she just challenged it to open up further. It was raw from the beginning until one day we were cooked. All of our truths on the table, we were ready to dine for a lifetime. Then, the sun came out….
I see her. But, she is blinded by yesterday’s pain, unforgiving of herself for allowing failure to be possible. She runs, from all that causes smiles and happiness. Discomfort has new meaning. When hugged, she pictures betrayal. When kissed, she only thinks how the saliva will dry. When Loved, she believes God hates her. Yet, I still see her. Everything I know her heart can be. The hope of a romantic Love that sees us both daring to risk everyone to gain everything. The pain in her eyes can’t blind her forever, and when she can see herself again. I want to be right there waiting….