Go into the bathroom and wash the pain off your face, before it stains. We are connected so that you can find happiness not be a product of hurt. When you return, I want to start by giving you a hug, showing you that our heart are one. I want to sit and have an honest discussion about why those tears have invaded your eyes. They are blinding you of all the possible joy breathing can bring. You are no longer the person that stayed because you left. You aren’t all the negative remarks because you set a new mark. You have decided to raise your standards, and it will definitely create distance from those who have no standards at all. While you are still in the bathroom look in the mirror. Do you see the same scared person? Do you see the things your past has lied to you about? We are all insecure about one thing or another. But, what is going to separate us from others is we aren’t settling for those insecurities being our identity. We will look in the mirror, stare straight at those insecurities, and work toward being secure. Deep breath, deep breath! This is a passing moment from your past, lets start working toward your positive future. We are in this together….
Note to Self….
My tempture baking, hot enough to cook a whole meal. You walked out the door, while I was in mid sentence, and I was trying to voice my passion for you. Now that I think about it, I am hurt. But, anger is the way I was raised to express myself as a boy. So, I have to be man enough to say, “You broke my heart”. I am left to figure us out by myself. I wanted us to work together, yet you don’t care about my wants. Actually, that was the problem the whole relationship. Me caring about you, you caring about you, and no one caring about me. Sad! Sitting here reflecting, I am chasing a ghost. You left because you abused me. The pain in my heart is so intense, I couldn’t breath once the door shut. With air reaching my brain, clarity is present. I am better off without you. I locked the door behind you….
It is hard to face the pain in your face because I hold you after another man has crushed your spirit. God has anointed me your savior though I can never savor having you in your purest form. Our hearts would have been the perfect shape to fit one another’s in that state but you chose him. Now, I will pick up your pieces and place you back together, knowing I will not be the man cuddled up with you at the end. My heart brokes with this truth, yet I accept my responsibility, just because I am gifted with the ability of making people whole again. My happiness must ultimately come from hoping the next man cherishes you like his church because my Faith in Love will allow me to watch your smile from a distance. With that said, let’s get started building you back up stronger….
She writes to me. Telling me I am everything she hoped, I would be, when she dreamt of a man beside her. Yet, she goes back to the obligation of a home that she built when she was youthful enough to believe the world was cold. She married the first person that warmed her heart. Now, we have crossed paths and I play the devil which temps her from honoring a committment under God. I never saw myself the villain but now my beat draws me closer to a woman I can’t never trace. We talk about a life where we can be but that life isn’t ours. It’s just a lust we want to Love….
I can hear your voice defending your negative actions toward me. I can see that you are inflicting pain on yourself because you don’t truly know how to apologize. This doesn’t make you humble, it makes you selfish. You never Loved me! You Loved how open I was to healing your wounds and my ability to recover as you cut me. I am done with you taking advantage of my healing factor. I am done with the drama of dealing with your anger. You don’t know what Love takes so therefore you can’t give it. I won’t complain no longer, I am taking action. Bye!!!!
A woman told me she didn’t talk to me bacause “I Look like I know I Look good”
I said “Why wouldn’t you want a man that knows his value?” I added “Do you think I Look Good”
She said, “Yes”
So I said, “So, I have to wait for you to tell me I look good to acknowledge that about myself!”
She said “No”
“Well, you almost didn’t talk to me because you thought I knew about myself, what you ultimately thought about me”
She just laughed and said, “Plus you just confirmed my other thought, that you are a smart ass”
I wasn’t going to debate that….
I can feel the creases in your eyes, I can sense the anger in your tone. You’re upset! Why are you acting like you aren’t? Do you believe you are weak because you’re vulnerable enough to display emotion or is it because you don’t want to care? You Love me and I you, a part of that Love means allowing yourself to express actual emotions. I have the power to hurt your heart in the worse way because I have the power to give you happiness. It’s physics. The higher in the sky the greater the impact of the fall, but don’t fear flying because you think we will die. Trust me, I built a castle in the sky and it’s built for two. So fly, be vulnerable, and lets live in the sky together.
Let’s talk about what is on your mind….