When It’s Right….

When It’s Right….

Her hand started out extending for a hand shake. I shook her hand, looked into her eyes, and smiled. She gave me eye contact but looked away with a large grin on her face. We knew the connection had life. We saw one another the next day and she extended again. I said ” I am not a fan of giving women hand shakes especially women I would rather hug.” She rolled her eyes yet extended her arms. She was letting me know it wasn’t going to be easy but she felt the same. We hugged! She pulled away faster than I would have wanted her to but it was a start. We passed each other in the halls several times, each time we showed interest with our eyes and teeth. There was no way to hide the attraction closing the gap between us. That hug wasn’t the last….

~AzizBrown~

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I Am Wake….

I Am Wake….

Who else is tired of giving your all and being told you’re gullible for trusting your heart? Who else laughs when you see people protecting their heart from Love? Well, I am tired and I have laughed because I see “the gullible” being the people that believe they are living being scared of falling in the faith of Love. I laugh not because I enjoy them missing out on “a taste of heaven” but because I wish they can feel how great it feels to give your heart to someone that actually deserves it’s loyalty. I laugh because the feeling is so great it tickles my insides and I want them to understand how foolish they are to live through past pain which has nothing to do with Love but someone taking Love for granted. It’s God’s plan to teach a lesson preparing us for our destiny of a true forever. I have had the intense pain of heartbreak. I wasn’t broken from that pain because my purpose is to chase my matching heartbeat. It was to see eye to eye with someone that can lock eyes and connect with my pupils rhythm for rhythm. So they can continue to sleep and I will continue to laugh because I am wide awake….

~AzizBrown~

Baby, Do you remember?

Baby, Do you remember?

We met. I asked a lot of questions, and you asked why. I said, “why do you want to know, why?” You said, ” Because I want to understand why your asking all of these questions”. I explained, ” That’s the exact reason why I am asking all of these questions because I want to understand you. I want to see how we can become an us.” The bigger question is why aren’t you asking a lot of questions?” You responded, ” I believe things should just flow naturally, we don’t have to interview one another.” I replied “I am not just going with the flow, I am interviewing for the most important job in my life (my wife) and you want me to go with the flow. It is natural to ask questions. It’s unnatural to be on a date with someone and not want to truly know who you are sitting with. No, I wouldn’t know you in a day but less questions come later on in the relationship because we hopefully perfected a dance. You just stared at me, then you said “We just met, why are you so interested in knowing me?” I said, “I am interested because I find you attractive, your aura is positive, and I want to see if we have a future; hence all the questions”! You try to hold back your smile, started to relax, and answered all my questions. Now, we are married! Do you remember our first date baby?

~AzizBrown~

Kept In The Shadows….

Kept In The Shadows….

“I Love you!” Yes, the words that came out of my mouth. They also came out of yours but you kept me in the shadows. You were on full display. I was proud to call you a woman I Love. I never realized how private we were until the day I expressed your lack of praise in me. You defended it like you believed it was okay. Matter of fact, you defended it like I was wrong for expecting some public acknowledgement. We spoke, you took a stance, and I took mine. The disconnect was formed. You threw me a bone the next day by wanting to talk. What was there truly to speak about? You were clear that I was to be a closed door person in your life. I understand your position and you understood mine. You ran operations and I made sure the operation ran. Yet, I told you “I am no secret”! You said “You wouldn’t be”. Now, we are here, strangers passing in the wind. Watching one another’s lives from the window. I Love You! Those were the words I said and I showed in my passion to get us on the same page. The fatigue of getting met with resistence has crippled me to walk several times. You would come back stating you were wrong but I knew you was keeping count of how many times you we saying “Sorry” and not how many times you did things to me to be sorry about. It’s cool. It was my choice not to be in this relationship. I surrendered to the fact that I Loved you deeply and now I surrender to the fact that I will never be able to express that Love again….
~AzizBrown~

I Am Not Mature Enough….

I Am Not Mature Enough….

I am not mature enough to have sex with someone I don’t see a long-term partnership with. I am not adult enough to use one person to get over another. SHIT, i can’t even fool around with someone unless I have a life long connection in mind. I mean, I only want Love in my life. I don’t want several women blowing up my phone, under the assumption they are all special. I don’t want to pretend that I am this stereotype of a man, when I actually want forever in my life. Forever Loves; Family, friends, and wife. Yes, I am too hopeful to buy into the world being cold and given up on the warmth of a long lasting passion. Not sexually, but passion to live dedicated to making those I Love happy. I was told to lighten up and have fun, but my fun is giving my life to those that deserve my breaths. I found home! So, I am not mature enough to sweat sheets out, just to wash them. I prefer to lie in our combined sweat, cuddled up in our belief that we will last FOREVER.

~AzizBrown~ 

Did Love Forget Me????

Did Love Forget Me????

Love has forgotten to write! I mean, I wrote Love for years and never received one letter from Love. Pouring my heart into each word, tears hit the pages many times, and nothing. I have shown Love; I can be LOYAL. I mean, I stayed when they hurt me. I forgave them by giving them a million chances. I have never judged them for cheating, beating, or mistreating me. I still support them. I turned the other cheek because “I Love them”. I wrote that in a letter to you, hoping you will write back, nothing. Love, you forgot to write. I mean, i have shown DEDICATION. I have help those that needed me the most. I have shared my money with penniless people. I have fed the homeless, assisted blind people to their destination, and I have taken the time to support people in their illnesses. I wrote, not a word. I have been HONEST. I hit my knees when they attempted to walk out the door, I begged them to be good to their children, and I have told them I was hurt when they didn’t consider me. I mean, I was truthful about my emotions; though I was so angry. I was “real” because I didn’t want to walk away. I was DEVOTED. I told them until death and I meant it. I stayed when they embarrassed me in front of my friends, isolated me from my family, and refused to allow me to grow. I mean, I Loved them when they did some of the cruelest things in return. Love has forgotten to write! Or Maybe I never addressed Love correctly…..

~AzizBrown~

Friends Aren’t Granted They Are Earned….

Friends Aren’t Granted They Are Earned….

As friends we are going to go through raising children together, mourning the losses of our parents, illnesses we can’t prevent, and some financial hardships. Do we really need more strain on our relationships? Communicate freely with your friends about what’s in your heart. Listen to what they have to say because you may know yourself but they see what you can’t. DEDICATE everything you have to building a strong foundation. Be HONEST say the things that need to be said, challenge them to be their best, encourage them when they are at their best, and tell them why you Love them every chance you get. DEVOTE the time. Make sure you make them a priority because a great friend will always make you one. Build something together invest in your friendship, like minds allows seeds to grow. Trust your friends, believe they are in your best interest. It’s okay to argue with them for clarity but never question their intentions. They may be wrong but that doesn’t mean they are trying to wrong you. As friends you must have tough discussions with practice they will come easier. Work at your friendships daily….

~AzizBrown~