Is it Love that you believe in? Or is it the passion of moments that you try to hold on to for a lifetime? You come home day after day, building a life with someone that takes you for granted. You hold on to the great times as if the relationship shouldn’t be full of them. We are taught that we should eat straps because in the beginning we were dining at the finest resturants. Relationship are hardwork they say….but it is personal. Passion should replace the word work. Arguments should create peace not distant memories of souls intertwined. Bitting our tongues isn’t Love, it’s a mouth full of blood, and it hurts. When we are ready to walk out the door, why is there another gear they can achieve? Shouldn’t that be the gear that’s consistently shown. Shouldn’t the exception be alone time to collect our thoughts? It is sad! Our reality is working through selfish choices because we Love someone. Shouldn’t Love be keeping your Love ones in mind before you make a choice? It’s heartbreaking! We see a happy couple and widsom is telling them, they will not be happy forever. Happy people are so naive, yet miserable one’s are insightful. Do you believe in Love? Love is, going through life honoring every commitment you made with your life. Love is, communicating every misguided thought to essure your relationship remains guided. Love is, navigating through life’s problems not creating problems, just to say you witnessed life. We need to learn what Love is because our belief in Love is starting to cross the thin line to hate….
Mute, my voice has been silenced because you refuse to have truth leave your lips. Everything that once gave me life, has killed our growth, planted by weeds. You broke my heart by forgetting to let me in on your secrets. You have destroyed my ego because I let you in on mine. I attached you to my dreams by making you the queens of my creativity. Now, the cameras have lose their focus and I am left being the editor of whether we were ever right. Love had blinded me from seeing, I can see. You made a fool of me and for that I am angry. But, I am upset with you for not Loving the foolish me, the me that wanted to be happy….
Our eyes, pacing back and forth, four pubils work as two in unison. I see you and you see me. Our lips aren’t moving, yet we are having words. I can smell the familiar scent of your skin. We are so intertwined that I can feel the joy in your smile. We have erased the background of our surrounds. We are we! Our margin are aligned, we are writing the story of us. I am responsible for those crow feet evading your eyes. You are the reason I have happy marks circling my mouth. Your ears remain open to my heart and my heart remains open to your ideas. We have touched one another within using our hands. My shoulders broaden in your presense, I am gifted with the strength to carry your weight. I am blind. I am blessed enough to have someone that can guide me. Doubt has no pulse, hope is breathing. You are forever, the measurement for happiness….
I washed my hand of the madness between us, but you followed me into the next room. I am suppose to hold my anger, yet I asked for space, and you keep coming closer. The baby is in the next room crying, the other children are so used to our dysfunction they continue to watch television. They are laughing in the background as your voice increases with rage because I refuse to respond. I want to keep my family whole. How is that possible when together we are so unhealthy? I talked to my family and friends, it is some normal in their lives they tell me to thug it out. Your in my ear and I am ready to boil. I reach for the door to leave. You grab my hand, yelling at the top of your lungs, “You can’t walk out on me, you ruined my body with these children”. I turn with the devil in my eyes, “get off me”. You just grab me with your other hand, saying “I am not scare of you”. Pushing my buttons, testing my resolve. I have never hit you before but I am close. Teeth are clitching, jaw is protruding, and the vein in my forehead is ready to explore. The moment continue to weaken me. You are shaking me, my hand is forming a fist, and arm is cocking back. One of the children come out. “Mommy, Daddy, I am hungry. God used my lil girl to remind me of the man I am. I walk into the kitchen and start making the children something to eat. Continuing to live this life, hiding behind staying for the children, not seeing that staying is hurting my children.
The mind has layers which give us levels to our personalities, and with all those levels we are expected to find people that can understand and accept all we bring. A Relationship is a miracle! I am not just talking about coexisting or creating a companionship. I am talking about building a relationship where there is joy in the maintenance of relating. I mean, having another person that will truly capture your essence and you theirs. I mean, having a team that agrees to build for a lifetime and stay focused on task with a loyalty and dedication that is unmatched. I am not talking about biting your tongue not to say anything offensive. I am talking about saying everything that comes to mind and having meaningful discussions to get pass the pain and hurt of contrasting views. I am talking about always believing with great and clear communication that being on the same page is always obtainable. It will never be about accepting the wrong in someone, it’s about inspiring what’s right through a bond of freedom, openness, adjustment, and growth. Who wants to just be cool, when they can work on a friendship or partnership that gives life purpose????
I want you to be the reason I know I have grown. I mean, just being in your presence should reflect, that I have moved passed my history of dating passing ideas. I want a concrete active relationship which shows I have lessened myself but have added something positive. I don’t just want to feel for you because we flow in and out of negative and positive. I want to believe in you, so when my eyes are closed I can still see you. I want the Love of a devotion that represents the dedication of two emerging into a faith together. I want to lose my mind, thinking through my heart because the process is so effortlessly mindless. Can we combine lives? Living for one another’s happiness. I want to commit to you until death has convinced me that it’s time to part….
I was shopping for an engagement ring, when i met my bride. She caught my eyes but I was attracted to her teeth and the smile attached to them. She approached me and said “can I help you.” I asked her what ring would she recommend. She pointed to the princess quad-cut diamond with pink outlining surrounding every diamond. It was beautiful. I said “the woman wearing this rings is just your size, can you try it on”. She looked at her manager. He gave her a quick head nod of approval. She put out her hand, I slipped it on her finger, turned to my future brother in-law, and said, “this would fit my sister perfectly”. I turned back around, watched my future bride take a deep breath (relieved I was single), she stared, I stared, and forever was made….