Our eyes, pacing back and forth, four pubils work as two in unison. I see you and you see me. Our lips aren’t moving, yet we are having words. I can smell the familiar scent of your skin. We are so intertwined that I can feel the joy in your smile. We have erased the background of our surrounds. We are we! Our margin are aligned, we are writing the story of us. I am responsible for those crow feet evading your eyes. You are the reason I have happy marks circling my mouth. Your ears remain open to my heart and my heart remains open to your ideas. We have touched one another within using our hands. My shoulders broaden in your presense, I am gifted with the strength to carry your weight. I am blind. I am blessed enough to have someone that can guide me. Doubt has no pulse, hope is breathing. You are forever, the measurement for happiness….
I am holding my breath, giving you time for my words to resignate. Closing my eyes because the pressure of talking someone I Love into being convicted, is giving me a headache. I want to quit! But, my heart is still beating and I don’t want to walk away from an investment I put my soul in. I can hear my bitter friends now, “I told you, you never give anyone all of you”. I refuse to let them or you kill my faith. My mind is race, my heart is breaking, and my faith is dying. Are you sure this is what you want? “Yes, this is what I want”. So, why is it taking you so long to invest your savings? We both said we were all in. Walking through life confident, head straight on my goals. Yet, you cripple me, when you was suppose to make it possible for me to fly. I am waiting, but I want to live. Our relationship is up in the air, we need to be grounded….
I whispered in your ear “I Love you”, your cheek was pressed up against my face. The smell of your happiness, aroused me. My heart beat started the drum, my pores started to water, and I couldnt help but to wrap my arms around your lower back and pull you in closer. You are my life. You enhance my passion to live. I breathe a little deeper, due to smile. Your body heat warmed my soul, not because I am was horny, but because you are home. I pushed you away from me to see you eye to eye. I want you to know a part of my faith is to stay faithful to us. You started to cry, I placed four fingers against your temples, as my thumbs wiped your tears. I leaned in, to suck the tears I missed off you lips. You kissed me passioniately and I returned the passion by wrapping my lips around yours. The moment was perfected in joy. Love wasn’t made, it was explored….
I Love You Aziz
I washed my hand of the madness between us, but you followed me into the next room. I am suppose to hold my anger, yet I asked for space, and you keep coming closer. The baby is in the next room crying, the other children are so used to our dysfunction they continue to watch television. They are laughing in the background as your voice increases with rage because I refuse to respond. I want to keep my family whole. How is that possible when together we are so unhealthy? I talked to my family and friends, it is some normal in their lives they tell me to thug it out. Your in my ear and I am ready to boil. I reach for the door to leave. You grab my hand, yelling at the top of your lungs, “You can’t walk out on me, you ruined my body with these children”. I turn with the devil in my eyes, “get off me”. You just grab me with your other hand, saying “I am not scare of you”. Pushing my buttons, testing my resolve. I have never hit you before but I am close. Teeth are clitching, jaw is protruding, and the vein in my forehead is ready to explore. The moment continue to weaken me. You are shaking me, my hand is forming a fist, and arm is cocking back. One of the children come out. “Mommy, Daddy, I am hungry. God used my lil girl to remind me of the man I am. I walk into the kitchen and start making the children something to eat. Continuing to live this life, hiding behind staying for the children, not seeing that staying is hurting my children.
She writes to me. Telling me I am everything she hoped, I would be, when she dreamt of a man beside her. Yet, she goes back to the obligation of a home that she built when she was youthful enough to believe the world was cold. She married the first person that warmed her heart. Now, we have crossed paths and I play the devil which temps her from honoring a committment under God. I never saw myself the villain but now my beat draws me closer to a woman I can’t never trace. We talk about a life where we can be but that life isn’t ours. It’s just a lust we want to Love….
Can’t wait for you to come home! I have been sitting here watching television thinking about the moment you walk into our home. I miss being cuddled up, kissing your forehead, while we talk about our lives together. You have only been gone for a couple of hours and I thought I was going to enjoy some alone time, but you are on my mind. I have resigned to the fact that my time alone is our time at home. I still enjoy your company after all these years. Just thinking about your smile almost brings me to tears. You have torn this hole in my heart and replaced what has been missing, making my heart whole. I sit here on the couch thinking about you coming home, knowing for sure I will be satisfied in your presence….
Betty woke up everyday wishing Tom would stop drinking and cheating. She believed she was being loyal by dedicating everything she had to allow her marriage to function. At least that is how Betty was raised. Her mother stayed, raised three children, and her father was barely present. When he was home they would argue about other women calling, him not spending enough time home, and he would threaten to leave. Her mother would turn around and beg him not to leave. Betty thought the world of her father because when he interacted with her he was such a sweet and Loving man, but that interaction would only occur sparingly. Now, Betty is nursing her own marriage, holding on to the good times. I mean, she married him for a reason. He has a great heart, wasn’t afraid to commit to her, and made her feel special before the drinking, cheating, and anger. How could she turn her back when she gave her word?