Today, I woke from the dead and mourning has ended. Looking at my body lifeless on the bed. I am ready to start again. Giving the spirit to move forward, I am thankful to have a second chance. Leaving behind the pain and seeing that joy is my purpose. Staring in the eyes of the people I Love, I am present. Alive in the facts that I am Loved. Passion leads me through a heartbeat being used to strengthen others. I have survived. So, I smile and find matching smiles….
I see her. But, she is blinded by yesterday’s pain, unforgiving of herself for allowing failure to be possible. She runs, from all that causes smiles and happiness. Discomfort has new meaning. When hugged, she pictures betrayal. When kissed, she only thinks how the saliva will dry. When Loved, she believes God hates her. Yet, I still see her. Everything I know her heart can be. The hope of a romantic Love that sees us both daring to risk everyone to gain everything. The pain in her eyes can’t blind her forever, and when she can see herself again. I want to be right there waiting….
Mute, my voice has been silenced because you refuse to have truth leave your lips. Everything that once gave me life, has killed our growth, planted by weeds. You broke my heart by forgetting to let me in on your secrets. You have destroyed my ego because I let you in on mine. I attached you to my dreams by making you the queens of my creativity. Now, the cameras have lose their focus and I am left being the editor of whether we were ever right. Love had blinded me from seeing, I can see. You made a fool of me and for that I am angry. But, I am upset with you for not Loving the foolish me, the me that wanted to be happy….
My tempture baking, hot enough to cook a whole meal. You walked out the door, while I was in mid sentence, and I was trying to voice my passion for you. Now that I think about it, I am hurt. But, anger is the way I was raised to express myself as a boy. So, I have to be man enough to say, “You broke my heart”. I am left to figure us out by myself. I wanted us to work together, yet you don’t care about my wants. Actually, that was the problem the whole relationship. Me caring about you, you caring about you, and no one caring about me. Sad! Sitting here reflecting, I am chasing a ghost. You left because you abused me. The pain in my heart is so intense, I couldn’t breath once the door shut. With air reaching my brain, clarity is present. I am better off without you. I locked the door behind you….
Too many of us had Too many sad ending that we are scared to begin again. We preach bitterness as WISDOM and selfishness as SMARTS. Allowing an individual to replace our faith in TOGRTHERNESS with self-Perservation. We must always remember that this life is all about searching for HEAVEN and staying focus on that as our DESTINATION through all the pain. Keep your heart open, believe you learned from the past, and will find better in your future. Maintain LOVE as a FAITH….
Authored By Aziz
It is hard to face the pain in your face because I hold you after another man has crushed your spirit. God has anointed me your savior though I can never savor having you in your purest form. Our hearts would have been the perfect shape to fit one another’s in that state but you chose him. Now, I will pick up your pieces and place you back together, knowing I will not be the man cuddled up with you at the end. My heart brokes with this truth, yet I accept my responsibility, just because I am gifted with the ability of making people whole again. My happiness must ultimately come from hoping the next man cherishes you like his church because my Faith in Love will allow me to watch your smile from a distance. With that said, let’s get started building you back up stronger….
She walks over to me, eyes drowned in tears. She couldn’t speak, so it would take a while before I understood what caused her this much pain. I opened my arms and hugged her until she was able to speak. Her comfort was the only thing in my heart. I pulled her away from my chest, looked her in the eyes, as I wiped her tears. I asked, “what happened”? She said “I am so sorry”. “For what”, I said. She went on to express how she cheated on me the night before. My eye sight begins to blur and I am speechless. I have just hugged a enemy of my heart. I used my Love to heal someone that just wounded me. I asked her to repeat what she said. She repeats “Last night I cheated on you”. I looked at her and said, “You knew this and allowed me to hug you”! She drops her head and says “Because I needed a hug”. At that moment I knew she will always put her wants above my needs. I turned and walked away. My voice was hoarse and heart lost it’s beat….