I see her. But, she is blinded by yesterday’s pain, unforgiving of herself for allowing failure to be possible. She runs, from all that causes smiles and happiness. Discomfort has new meaning. When hugged, she pictures betrayal. When kissed, she only thinks how the saliva will dry. When Loved, she believes God hates her. Yet, I still see her. Everything I know her heart can be. The hope of a romantic Love that sees us both daring to risk everyone to gain everything. The pain in her eyes can’t blind her forever, and when she can see herself again. I want to be right there waiting….
Mute, my voice has been silenced because you refuse to have truth leave your lips. Everything that once gave me life, has killed our growth, planted by weeds. You broke my heart by forgetting to let me in on your secrets. You have destroyed my ego because I let you in on mine. I attached you to my dreams by making you the queens of my creativity. Now, the cameras have lose their focus and I am left being the editor of whether we were ever right. Love had blinded me from seeing, I can see. You made a fool of me and for that I am angry. But, I am upset with you for not Loving the foolish me, the me that wanted to be happy….
My tempture baking, hot enough to cook a whole meal. You walked out the door, while I was in mid sentence, and I was trying to voice my passion for you. Now that I think about it, I am hurt. But, anger is the way I was raised to express myself as a boy. So, I have to be man enough to say, “You broke my heart”. I am left to figure us out by myself. I wanted us to work together, yet you don’t care about my wants. Actually, that was the problem the whole relationship. Me caring about you, you caring about you, and no one caring about me. Sad! Sitting here reflecting, I am chasing a ghost. You left because you abused me. The pain in my heart is so intense, I couldn’t breath once the door shut. With air reaching my brain, clarity is present. I am better off without you. I locked the door behind you….
Too many of us had Too many sad ending that we are scared to begin again. We preach bitterness as WISDOM and selfishness as SMARTS. Allowing an individual to replace our faith in TOGRTHERNESS with self-Perservation. We must always remember that this life is all about searching for HEAVEN and staying focus on that as our DESTINATION through all the pain. Keep your heart open, believe you learned from the past, and will find better in your future. Maintain LOVE as a FAITH….
Authored By Aziz
God has a sense of humor! The pleasure of creating a life, doesn’t always measure the pain of bringing that life into this world. I mean, people talk about the greatest trick the devil has ever pulled, is convincing the world he doesn’t exist. Yet, God’s trick to reproduction is a great pleasure before watching our women go through the worse pain imaginable. And us men are just bystanders. We kissed their lips, danced in between their legs, and came together. Just to be yelled at, pushed away, and made to feel like we are being torn apart. But, when that head emerges and the life we created is rested between us; we contemplate doing it all again. At that moment, all we can do is thank God for all the pain because the joy can’t be measured.
She walks over to me, eyes drowned in tears. She couldn’t speak, so it would take a while before I understood what caused her this much pain. I opened my arms and hugged her until she was able to speak. Her comfort was the only thing in my heart. I pulled her away from my chest, looked her in the eyes, as I wiped her tears. I asked, “what happened”? She said “I am so sorry”. “For what”, I said. She went on to express how she cheated on me the night before. My eye sight begins to blur and I am speechless. I have just hugged a enemy of my heart. I used my Love to heal someone that just wounded me. I asked her to repeat what she said. She repeats “Last night I cheated on you”. I looked at her and said, “You knew this and allowed me to hug you”! She drops her head and says “Because I needed a hug”. At that moment I knew she will always put her wants above my needs. I turned and walked away. My voice was hoarse and heart lost it’s beat….
Will you ever have enough? I have given you half my life and all of my Love, yet you are still discontent. All I see is what we can build together but all you see is more. We have four children, created a house in our image, and share a faith in forever. So I thought?! Now, you are coming home later every night. You forgot to pick the children up several times in the last weeks. The new friends you have are opposite of the lifestyle we tailored for each other. Are you bored? I continue to ask questions but the answers never answer my questions. You say you are fine but just a month ago you were all mine. Who would have guessed our Love would be in doubt? Who would have thought you would go this route? Detouring off the path we set in motion as one mind and one heart. Now, the two of us are the two of us and I can’t quite understand the disconnect. I am not ready to let go but if you must go let me know because I am dedicated to what we have built together….