I am not worthy of my eyes closing and dreaming of you because I fear your no’s wide awake. I am not of value because your stare isn’t enough, I want you in my arms cuddled up on the couch. I don’t deserve to breathe because I hold my breath in your presence, taking for granted the time I am wasting. I am not worth your faith because I Love escape when I refuse to take a step. I don’t deserve God because I have devilish thoughts of sexual lust. I am not because we aren’t and I want to be….
We hugged! I felt her heart on my chest. We kissed! I felt her skin against mine. My brain was erect! I thought of our life in its entirety. We smiled! I could see forever in sight. We walked away! I knew that home was the moment we were together again….
I see her. But, she is blinded by yesterday’s pain, unforgiving of herself for allowing failure to be possible. She runs, from all that causes smiles and happiness. Discomfort has new meaning. When hugged, she pictures betrayal. When kissed, she only thinks how the saliva will dry. When Loved, she believes God hates her. Yet, I still see her. Everything I know her heart can be. The hope of a romantic Love that sees us both daring to risk everyone to gain everything. The pain in her eyes can’t blind her forever, and when she can see herself again. I want to be right there waiting….
A heart beat increases in the middle of the night, cold sweat invades your forehead, and your eyes are blood shot. You remember when it was great to have hope in the future. The belief, when you hugged them felt like forever. Then, it all changed. The reality of self before us became apparent. Life will never feel the same again. Those joyful smiles are lost in the anger of disappointment. The walks that seemed so romantic are devalued. You sit looking out the window at the emptiness of possibilities. Nothing makes you feel alive. Then, you walk pass a person, two eyes become four, then two again. Your heart begins to have life beating out your chest. Your teeth appear and the warmth of the sun had meaning. You remember the breathes you take are to Love, not live in misery. We walk toward the person, taking a leap of faith. You risk the heart beats increasing in the middle of the night, cold sweats invading your forehead, and your eyes being blood shot. Because, it is worth never feeling that lost again because you truly found a forever happiness….
We approach opposite sides of the corner at the same time. Both looking at our phones waiting for the light to change, so we can alternate sides of the sidewalk. The light changes, we raise our heads, and our eyes meet. We both look away, killing the perception of being over zealous. Yet, we both feel the other isn’t interested because we didnt allow our eyes to stay connected long enough to solidify that interest. As we pass, I look back, our eyes meet again. The mutual interest was there but we decided to settle for “until we meet again”….
Authored By Aziz Brown
My life showed in your pupils. I stared and lost focus of my footsteps. No worries, you guided me back to my path and I walk blindly knowing you will see for me. Our Love grew to a place we just need to maintain. I am home. I am resting in front of a fireplace of our flame. A comfort that allows me to close my eyes, certain I will wake up to a forever that will never betray me. I see my life in your pupils because you are my life…. Author by Aziz Brown
We were planted together. Our seeds opened at the same time and we merged at the roots. When we came out the ground, we were already one plant. No one would have been able to tell that we were placed in the ground separately. We met at the foundation of our existence. We let eachother in on our past and discovered we still wanted to work toward a future. We debated until we related! We were unafraid to lose because we knew that was the only way we could win. We had no secrets between us. Starting to intertwine, we found Love. There was no longer a you with me or an I without us. We bloomed as one and everyone else are just able to admire us from the surface because only a few would dig deep enough to understand us from the root….